Eat A Blog Dog

Shiva Champagne Strikes Again!

2010-01-11T11:15:00.000-08:00

Here is the trailer for a charming film by the wonderful Dev Benegal ('Split Wide Open' 1999 , 'English, August' 1994 ) called 'Road Movie'. I was recommended by the famous, well dimpled, Indian lead actor, Abhey Deol, to the directors to rework and sing the closing credit song along with my producer friend Precize. Don't know how the heck he had heard of me! The song was originally a Hindi hit from the 60's, something like the 'Don't Worry Be Happy' of India called 'Sar Jo Tera Chakaraye'. I absolutely love the guy who originally sang and performed this...His name was JOHNNY WALKER!!

Yes, I sing in Hindi! No, I don't speak Hindi...yet! : )

Fingers crossed for making a video for the song. I'm assured by my manager that painting myself blue and shooting Champagne is out of the question.

I hear the movie is getting rave reviews at all the best festivals so when it pulls up to your town....GO SEE ROAD MOVIE!!

Screaming for Thirteen!

2010-01-04T21:23:00.000-08:00

My High School pal Jason Berry has finished his latest album, 'Thirteen', which im assuming is his thirteenth album for Vacuum Tree Head. I also think I sang on his first one..or maybe it was the 2nd, no the 2nd one, 'Oob Eye Works', when i was 16...in any case I am stoked to once again be involved with his music when he moved up to NY from CA some years ago. I got to scream-sing in Spanish and other fun stuff. Here is an animated video he did for one of the songs....

Hindi Ko Alam!

Update: Jason informed me recently that I am also on the 3rd n 4th or more albums...can't recall...so get them all.

Gag Reflex

2009-11-19T14:40:00.000-08:00

So the short of it is that the band will be playing behind giant video screens on scaffolds so we wouldn't even be visible, I am just there to yes, play hard, but only to boost the synth parts and was never really integral especially for the overall $100,000 to keep me on board. So I am not being replaced. There will be no bassist. I will not see you at the show. Latest rumor from my 'ears' on the scene is that the rest of the band is mixed so low against the trax who knows how it will play out for them. Who can tell anything when shows get changed and rearranged and stress levels rise. It's all fair game.

Gaga did have the momentary idea to bring me out on stage during a song for some Prince type showmanship with her Keytar, but now I hear Shmeeans, the guitarist, will cover that dressed as an SnM bear type thing with a leather mask and such. Have fun Shmeeans, I know Ill have fun watching you. ; )

I am sad but those who know me know this was not meant to be, even though I thought it was. I am not a road dog, Im an artist, but I was willing to tow the line for the sake of giving everyone a behind the scenes glimpse, drawing attention to myself and my projects, and escaping New York for a little while and oh yes, I would've definitely put that money to good use as well. Ha.. But after finding out we would be behind screens and not seen...who the fuck cares!? You can't bring all this on tour and waste it like that. And therein lies the problem. This isnt MY tour. I am glad to have gotten to see behind the scenes (and the screens), meet some great people, and see how things work on a major pop level from very close up. If you ever want to know how people blow up so seemingly fast...I can tell you. A lot goes into it.

It is ironic that out of anyone I was most committed to this tour for personal reasons and not simply for having a job.

For those going to the show, you will not be disappointed. It's an Alexander McQueen teen dream come true.

I only wish I could've gotten to know Gaga better, or her me. I feel like we would've had a blast on the road during downtime. Another time doll!

For the real dirt, I did however keep a detailed daily diary of my time in LA in the Gaga camp. In it is a quote from one of the roadies, "You are never hired until you are done with the first show". People always say not to talk about things until they happen, but I always put it out there....you know me, you know that. My life is a human life and there's no point in hiding that.

I can now refocus on my own projects, confirm the tour I wouldv'e had to cancel where I will actually be seen and be singing for, the much lesser known, Telepopmusik, promoting their new album with songs on it which I wrote and performed. And after all, Jeff, the one who hired me, wants us to continue to work together writing pop music for this bloated industry. Beyond the things that got miffed up due to going on/off tour, like the dance performance I worked for, auditioned for, and was accepted for but could never finish rehearsals for, or the fact that Im subletting an apartment I could now use, or now missing out on the 3 day Vancouver stay where my aged Grandmother lives whom I haven't seen in years, there are many more silver linings to finally not going on the road.

Never before has fame meant so little. : /

Ultimately what this whole thing turned out to be was me gettin' paid to chill in a sick suite for 10 days, all food taken care of, hang out with a few sexy motherfukrs I will now put in my back pocket til I can 'play' with them again, free flight to see my Mom and Step-Dad just in time for the holidays, got to reconnect with some LA friends and industry folk I rarely see which led to me writing another hit, chillin' at Kelis's crib, and getting a close up view of a crazy OTT show before everyone else.

I wish everyone in the crew a great tour. I know it is hard to be away from your kids, pets, and families for so long and my thoughts will be with you.

Love you Charles! Love you Shmeeans! Love you Cooz! Love you Henry! Love you Pawel! Love you Chris! Love you Gaga!

If this be my brief stint in the Land of Oz, then to Eric and Bobby (Go Roadies! Go Hair Farmers!), "I think Im going to miss you most of all". Ha, I know you guys will make the most of it. I'll be there with you in spirit. It might've been trouble had I stayed ; )

Finally, during the first song of the show when the track comes down low and Gaga shouts out, "Marilyn... Judy... SYLVIA! Tell 'Em how you feel girls!" Every night, remember me, stage left, top tier, behind the screen, if you look real close you can see me "Dance In The Dark". Cuz "Im a free bitch baby!" -- Gaga (ya ya, me me too too)

And with that, Im glad Im over here on the West Coast already and my Mom's farm is just 3 heel clicks away cuz at times like these... "There's no place like home".

UPDATE: Bobby (the sexy roadie) fell very ill and had to leave the tour, a couple others dropped off including the music director (he's really busy). So now they have a new music director that I dont know and he hired a bassist. Have fun.

YET ANOTHER UPDATE: Gaga retooling everything again...sent out emails to audition a whole other band and additional singers. Whahahaaaa, I don't have time to audition this go round. woo ha.

Pop is wack.

wamp.

Gag on it!

2009-11-09T15:04:00.001-08:00

She's Gaga and I'm gaga... for her

I was recently asked to get on board for this talented ball of gorgeousness as her bassist for her Monster Ball tour. I gladly accepted. Im pretty sure there is no other pop star I would've said yes to. For me to go thru 12 hour rehearsals everyday, get pulled aside to make sure my attitude is on point, and be on a tour bus with all guys for long hours (just kidding guys, im proud to be by your side), and schlepp suitcases around numerous airports...I defintely have to be a fan.. and I am. I am so excited about the coming months and seeing the entire show come together. I can tell you right now...it's HUUUGE.

I will be sure to keep a tour diary on another blog to keep any fans posted about the world behind the scenes. See you at the show!

...and for those who keep asking how I got the gig saying, "I didnt even know you played bass". Yes, I went to music school many moons ago studying ferociously until I was given the Chair Award on my instrument upon graduation (whatever that means outside of school). Since then I kinda lost interest since I had no real intention on being a work horse studio or touring musician for other people. It was only 2 weeks prior to meeting my old college buddy who hired me for the gig that I even picked up the bass again for my own project, Betty Black. kizmet. On this gig, I will most likely still be playing the same used Fender bass my step-dad bought me when I was 16.

Is Your Fridge Running?

2009-10-25T20:54:00.001-07:00

Well you better catch it and capture it on camera cuz i wanna see that thing. I started another waste of time called fridgefronts.blogspot.com why? i dunno, i like to see personality peak out from clean white spaces. Some fridge fronts are amazing....send me yours, no hold barred.

MY LIL asSIStant

2009-10-25T20:43:00.000-07:00

Lil sis came into town for a 10 day visit culminating at our fav holiday, Halloweeeeen. She may be younger but she always has kind words, good advice, and is really my bestest friend beside our other lil sis and bro. She's also so damn smart it's spooky. Now if only she'd keep stuff a lil tidier ; 0 She's here to party and help celebrate all the good things that have recently come my way...which in turn means they have come her way. I understand what growing up in Texas a lil mixed race child with lil money means, im gonna give her the world.

October Shows!!

2009-10-04T21:59:00.001-07:00

Worst I Ever Did...

2009-09-26T01:08:00.000-07:00

But im still gonna let you peep it. This is dedicated to all my boyfriends. Thanks for your time.

It's Been A Minute

2009-07-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

Sos just to keep people updated who are interested i am doing music still. Who knows what Kudu will do, our label sucks but we have some killer people working behind the scenes on our behalf so we are just sitting pretty for a couple more minutes. Betty Black is in full swing playing out sporadically, just mixed down the 1st EP, working on the next album. The next Black Eyed Peas single 'Meet Me Halfway' I wrote all of Fergie's parts, Im going to Sweden this month with my new project 'Vivian Alive!' with Ben "Mathead" Dietz, I am in the midst of recording an old Hindi hit, yes i said Hindi hit, for a major motion movie closing title soundtrack, and looking forward to the next Telepopmusik release where I have 6 or 7 songs I wrote on the album and will be doing some live dates with them. Keeping fingers crossed about the song I wrote to the Young Boyz track for Britney Spears and preparing myself for my pole dance recital and audition for my studio's showcase in Nov.

Hello LA, Can't Stay

2009-06-05T09:08:00.000-07:00

The house where i was doing a little pop star ghostwriting. Looks like they did pretty well for themselves. $$$ I hope me too.

KUDU performed a little red carpet event for Mtv and D.'s new movie 'Sympathy For Delicious'

Pop stars are mad corny but getting to hold that Mtv mic was a childhood fantasy come true. When Sway asked me where i got my style, I flung my runny hosed leg and battered green shoe in the air and squealed " E bay!"

Even though not shown on the red carpet, the night was all about photo ops. The red carpet was actually the size of a welcome mat and I was too shy to stand still on it.

A couple a few drinks later of different alcohols and Eh! Whaddaya want!?

Say Cheeeeese!

2009-05-15T22:38:00.001-07:00

i wrote this for Vice. They been tripping up on the DIY issues...so whatever...

Boobs

2009-05-14T10:58:00.000-07:00

Recently i was asked to be 'Boobs of the Week' girl for the blogspot called 'The Boobs'. Think I didn't say yes? So my boy Kareem Black came over to my place with his assistant (yeah, he's a pro) to snap a few and my girl Valissa Yoe came thru to help and make me a beautiful dress out of garbage bags! Perfect material when dealing with slime. These pics here above are some out takes. Enjoy! (if u like that kinda thing)

Playing Myself

2009-04-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

"The biggest names in independent music are combining forces to take on one of the world's most egregious humanitarian crises of our time on a new compilation called 'Causes 2.'..."

A while back my friend DJs Devlin and Darko asked me to participate in this remix for Tim and Eric's Petite Feet song. You think i didn't say yes? Well some timing issue or something and the song never made the cut to the TnE remix album but it somehow found it's way here..
Some Mtv jammy...

Keep The Home Fires Burning

2009-04-02T05:23:00.000-07:00

Yep, home is where the heart is. I cried so many times the past week while visiting my family, I can't even count. I guess I must have been purging or something.

I just got back from my extended vacation. Done with SXSW and my Dad's side of the family and done with California and my Mom and Step-Dad. I can't wait to see them all again and next time I will spend much more time with them.

My Mom recently made the move way out to the country for peace and tranquility and to not pay California's exorbitant property tax...so she is raising beef cattle. They roam around at their leisure and often come up to the house just to hang out. My Mom has laways made the best out of every living situation she has ever been in, and believe me, there have been MANY, and this is no exception. I am so happy for her to finally have found her lil piece of peace.

My Step Dad loves the ranch for his astro-imaging hobby on the weekends, but during the week he keeps a condo minutes from his work where i got to pay a visit and have a look around. His company does some pretty amazing stuff with face recognition, nano-tech, spy stuff, and more. It's a nerd paradise and i was so impressed getting to meet all of his co-workers and see the offices and labs.

Dom For A Day ...ReEeeMiIiX!

2009-03-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

SO Vice has been taking their sweet time publishing all of the issues they received for their DIY 'Blank Issue' . I don't even know how long it's been since I wrote this...but I do know I had to edit severely to make it fit within the confines of their pages...which is a good thing. Doing stuff like this and writing about it makes me want to be a writer/ reporter. You can bet you will find me delving into all kinds of corners of life to find a story...this is fun! I could not simply copy the text from the issue as it is not published so I had to grab images of the text to post...hahaha. I wish i could edit this further! agh! The original text is on my old computer...yeah, the broken one.

Dom For A Day (Learning the Ropes)

Blue Balls?

2009-03-28T16:23:00.000-07:00

Check!

Black ones, brass ones, and ones that light up the night too!

Now, do not ask me how I found this site, i do not recall, but it's nutz

...in all colors and forms. The original sacks were meant to be dangled from your truck right below the hitch, taint that somethin'!?...but now they have expanded their sacks into keychains, doorknockers, antenna spinners and more.

She Turns Tricks and Gets Paid!

2009-03-28T00:37:00.001-07:00

If you don't know by now, I love pole dancing. I love the poles, the heels, the moves, the ladies...because the real ladies who can really work a pole are hard core, they are athletic and sexy, and graceful, and fun. So the ladies who run the midtown spot I take lessons from also hosted the USPDF (United States Pole Dancing Federation) pole competition this past March 15 ( I was at Zeitgeist Day instead ). I now have a new hero in the pole world other than my awesome teachers of course, and her name is Sarah Cretul!

Sarah is a 21 y.o. child who had NEVER entered a competition before and came out a paid winner .... the shared title of Miss Trixter to be exact! After seeing her video i fell in love with her personality and originality in her moves...aside from the sheer technical ability...eh, I'll get there one day. I only started 6 moths ago and mama gave me a little bit more to sling around that pole. Ill have to keep it a lil slower with my seduction.

The very last time i got on a pole before going on my extended vacation out of state, WPIX News came into our class to film the Friday before the big USPDF competition. They interviewed me a lil...whee..hee..it was my first performance you could say ; P

enthused local NYC news reporter from WPIX

Twerk it

Talk about it (Miss GORDOD)

Teachers looking mad impressed

The End

After this class i was surprised and awarded and now currently hold the USPDF title of Miss Thickster 2009. I am very proud.

The Way I see It Week 10 (March 9nd-March 15th)

2009-03-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

D day? Naaah, Z Day!

2009-03-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, Z Day. ha. Well i had been waiting for it. I bought to tix for it...yes BOUGHT 2 tix but rest assured the money went to cover the cost of the hall and no one made a dime. $10 a ticket is just fine. Well you remember Peter Joseph, the one who made the Zeitgeist film? NO? ok...

http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/

and then it goes on from there as it delves into the Venus Project imagined by Jacques Fresco and Roxanne Meadows.

http://www.thevenusproject.com/

The event was sold out and lasted 4 hours down at the BMCC TRIBECA Performing Arts Center Theater where i twittered like 40 tweets. I found myself in the company of a good cross section of people of all ages races and mental capacities...there were some stoopid questions during the 1 and 1/2 hour QnA period but i am so glad i went. I jumped the stage after as the police were trying to sweep the audience out and got a pic of me and Peter but in my haste it turned out i only got the edge of his ear. After i left the building something told me to turn around and go back. That decision granted me the privlege of walking out with Jacques and Roxanne in an intimate night stroll. I got a good pic. : )

If you care to read the tweets, they are silly and on my Facebook 'Sylvia Oh Sylvia' is my name.

Here's a NY Times review of the evening...my tweets were better.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/17/nyregion/17zeitgeist.html?_r=1

LOOK AT THESE!!

The Way I See It Week 9 (March 2nd-March 8th)

2009-03-11T11:34:00.000-07:00

Honey...I Did A couple Dirty Videos Before I met You...

2009-03-02T20:54:00.000-08:00

But you don't always have to take off your clothes to make your point. As far as the music I write goes, it runs the gamut from soulful to scary but when you sing about sex, best to leave the poetry in the lobby and just be blunt in the vocal booth.

This is me on the hook for Spankrock's 'Pu$$y'

And this is my verse toward the end of the song featuring SantoGold as well

B.O.O.T.A.Y - Spank Rock and Benny Blanco are: Bangers & Cash

The Way I See It Week 8 (feb 24-March 1st)

2009-03-01T22:44:00.001-08:00

The Way I See It Week 7 (feb 17-23)

2009-02-23T11:04:00.000-08:00

Kinda Trashy, Kinda Flashy

2009-02-19T11:29:00.000-08:00

What's pink, plastic, polka dotted, and filled with trash? My daydreams.

'The Way I See It' Week 6 (feb 11-16)

2009-02-15T17:20:00.000-08:00

The Way I See It Week 5 (feb 3-10)

2009-02-10T16:06:00.000-08:00

OH HOW I COULD REALLY USE A GOOD CAMERA!! WANT ONE ASAP!!

Poles, Poles, Poles!

2009-02-06T17:52:00.000-08:00

It was a pole-ish kind of day today. First a little trip to my local POLE-ISH neighborhood drugstore where I bought some green nail POLISH from a POLE ( is that rude? ).

...And to anyone's surprise, not only can you buy toothpaste and aspirin there, but you can buy a hot pink dildo if you are in need. Wha! What a pharmacy, I love this country! I love the sprawling selection and packaging as well. You'd think a pharmacy that dared to carry dildos might only have one or 2, but no... The 'Banana' boldly claims -"I'm better than a man!" ( now that's just sad ), there's the swirly lavender "Cremesicle", the mercilous "Robocock", and the frighteningly monsterous black " Size Queen 'Baton' "...what do you do with that sucker, beat off or beat someone over the head with it?...and many more.

..And then I finished off my day with a work-out on the pole...the stripper pole pervert. I'm getting better, but my legs are getting beat the f*ck up. Oh well..

Death By Dancing!

2009-02-05T18:07:00.000-08:00

Friday the 13th! Valentine's Eve! In walking distance from my apt! I'm hosting (free bottles for my models)! I'm singing some never before heard or performed songs in collabo with Mathead (titles tell you..'Poltergeist', 'Jump-Off', and 'Come Thru Me')! Black prom dresses! Balloons! More balloons!

It's all aligning! Someone's gonna get their heart torn out, someone's gonna diiiiie!...at the...

!!DEATH PROM!!

The Way I See It Week 3 (Jan. 26th - feb 2)

2009-02-03T17:22:00.000-08:00

Baker's Doesn't (whatever)

2009-01-25T20:52:00.000-08:00

Update on Tard Alert

Since today I was working in the West Village i just had to take a little coffee break at dear old Lafayette Bakery. ( see 'Tard Alert' ) I had to know the other side of the story. I found our hefty baker to be quite cute, like a giant baby whom, like a baby, had very little sense or knowledge of the world he was living in. I found him constantly answering the phone only to hear screaming shrieking hatred spewing back from the the other side. He had been receiving death threats and other wonderful offers for the past 2 days but said he said he had to answer all of the phone calls because occasionally a call may be a legitimate business call. He felt he was misrepresented on the video, of course.

Even after earnign his trust he declined to take a picture with me and sheepishly said, "I just wanna eat my lunch". What's for lunch? Chinese baby feet? The best part was when my 'boss' Gina, who was on Xstasy, asked if the drunken negro head cookies had alcohol in them. Perfectly legitimate question, but for some reason it sent everyone in the store into a busrt of laughter.

All I know is that someone who couldn't predict the outcome of actions such as his within a mile or so must be slow and somewhat off mentally and therefor harmless in the grand scheme of things. The West Village community board is taking measures to shut down his bakery. I have to say the baked goods are particularly good. But the elephant ears were a bit black and burnt and I may be calling in the ASPCA on this one.

The Way I See It... Jan. week 4

2009-01-25T19:51:00.000-08:00

Reunited!

2009-01-25T00:45:00.000-08:00

For some cosmic reason (ok, rationality tells me it's cuz I started using my real name online) my high school friends having been streaming back into my life this week. One major event was reuniting with my boy Jason Berry. I thought he was so cool in high school because he had the largest CD collection I had ever seen. He had a band called Vacuum Tree Head and if you think that name is weird you should hear the music. I recorded with him when i was 16 or 17 and after all this time he was in need of a singer for some new material and since he now lives in Brooklyn i got to see him and record once again. There's nothing like a little piece of home to make you feel a little less alone.

In studio (ok, in bathroom of studio)

Show me your tatts

C'mon baby, lift up your shirt and show us your TATTS!

The Stench Of A Woman

2009-01-23T11:45:00.000-08:00

I have a few moments before going to record some wack music that i might get paid for in a year and the new CS3 crack (Thanks Robbie!) so you really can't stop me. I figure before i blow up into a mega star music diva i better get on my perfume game and be prepared. Working out 3 prototypes as I type..

I bring to you now.. 'Secretions' the scent of woman.

I'm not sure whether to go for the tweeny-teen market...

The 'Classy' Beyonce caliber market that might sell well
at the opulent Venetian in Vegas...

Or the actually classy filthy stinking rich market...

Also, i could use some free fonts...holler if you have 'em.

Tard Alert!

2009-01-23T10:34:00.000-08:00

Some are dumb, but this guy is begging for it. He ain't gonna like what's coming his way in the West Village. You dun messed up son. I couldn't be bothered enough to cross the street to spit on his floor, but others will, surely they will...and more. Ooops.

"Drunken, negro, face...cookie" aahahahaha, idiot

Music Video Alert 3! 'Eat My Brains Out'

2009-01-22T23:36:00.001-08:00

When i first saw this vid i fell in love with Cara Elizabeth. So it's only received 400 plays since 2006, so fucking what? I love this video. Are you starting to get a feel for what I find attractive in videos? Slickness and money are not a part of it. You may not appreciate this song too much but Miss thing says "eat my brains out" and "when we die we hit reverse". I love the twirls the dude in the back does at 2:30. and Cara opens wide for some lights at the end. Cara is so wacky-crazy-silly-hot. She does something called 'BornAgainPop' and is a political activist thru art. Yep, girlfriend is cray cray. We Myspaced way back when a couple of times...I hope we meet one day!

Eat up

Ho No, Not Me

2009-01-22T21:27:00.001-08:00

SO i got a wild hair up my ass (yes, another wild hair) to find out a little more about the escort scene. Now I can never fully follow thru with all this stuff but for some reason I must come right up on the edge of it, stick my tongue out and give it just a 'lil taste. I mean seriously, who the hell isn't curious about this crap whether you dig it or not?

I hung out for about a month with a guy who owned an agency but didn't learn much, cuz well, I was just hanging with him, not the escorts. So when a friend gave me the number to another escort agency owner I posed like I was interested in working..which, hey, if everything sounded good, maybe I would? 1 large an hour...seriously...what?

In your own head the possibilities imagined can be amazing like, what if I'm actually attracted to the client?..and i get paid bank? Sounds intriguing. Im a full grown woman, I can say no if it looks strange. The agency takes all kinds of precautions. But then your mind goes to the darker side and imagines all the things that could go wrong. Drugging, kidnapping, sneak attacks. This is the kind of thinking that keeps you safe and well, safe. And safe is not life is it? More than likely it would be some vapid fool you have to let inside you gritting your teeth thinking "money nga, money, I'm gonna take yur MONEY!"

So I meet this guy at a deli in Mid-town a few afternoons ago and boy, if his face could talk (and eventually it did) it would've said, "Oh hell naw, who sent this bitch!?" He looked pretty drained of all joy once he met me. We got to talking and he tried to tip-toe around the fact that he could not take me on. "Look fool, I know who I am, I know what I look like and I already know what kind of girls you hire. This is no surprise." He fell over himself apologizing that I wasn't the right type and that it in no way reflected on his personal taste, ew. I had to reassure him my ego was not tied to what some generic idea of beauty held by very generic men from the Mid West on boring business trips to NY...where what's hot is...well, me, but most folks just don't know. He said he felt bad because so many girls would get upset when he told them they were not right. And by right he meant, 5'10 or over, blonde, and skinny...you know, like "models" Puke. Shallow. Dull. Snore. But yeah, that's the business. I found out my market value was more like the $300-$500 range. What? I wouldn't even blow a dick a kiss for under $1,200. Maybe with Obama in office, and my looking like I could be up in the cousin section of the 1st family, change really will really rain down and my stock will go up. LOL. I'll show you!

I'm going over to SugarDaddy.com before it gets too late. ; )

If you know me though, you already know I'd make the worst prostitute ever. I'm like the opposite of a ho. Not that I don't rock it bed, don't get it twisted. It's just that somehow I think I end up paying for it...haha. But yeah, I'd rather it be that way. Call girls are way more brave and crazy among other qualities... Not that I'm glorifying. Not at all.

Scratch That

2009-01-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

SO now I'm a DJ ok? Cool. Well, I won't garner any respect what so ever for my mixing skills, or lack thereof, but you might like my song selection...might. So this is my first DJ gig with Jess Jubliee. It's just chill, little bar so let's just hang out, be friends, drink, say something inappropriate, kiss and make-up.

Clique here

Rope-A-Dope!

2009-01-21T23:54:00.000-08:00

Today I went to visit My friends Estrella and Robbie (or Sly and Robbie as I like to say inwardly) and not only did they burn me a crack version of Photoshop but they bestowed this multi-functional braid upon me.

Sly and Robbie have a new earthy, modern, and Native American inspired line called Silloah which involves a lot of braiding and soft cottons. http://silloah.com

The Way I See it... Jan. week 3

2009-01-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

Tan and Scan

2009-01-15T19:44:00.000-08:00

"Thumb scanners, mind your manners, who's knocking at your door? Back to the future, it's 1984."

Those were some old lyrics of mine...so naturally when City Sun Tanning asked me 3 times today to scan my thumbprint explaining it was for my own protection against fraud, I crossed my eyes and said "I decline". He further explained calmly, "oh no, it' s so no one else uses your name." WTF? "But this is my last session in my package", I said. He then pushed, "well, for when you come back then." "IF i come back." I said.

I have 3 forms of ID right here in my pocket for a goddamned tanning session and if that's not good enough, EAT A HOT DOG!

Sympathy For D.

2009-01-15T08:23:00.000-08:00

So you know the drummer for Kudu, D? Well you should. Not only is he one of the best drummers in the world...seriously, it has been proven..he was swinging with the local high school jazz band at 5. Aside from Kudu he has toured and recorded with John Cale (founder of Velvet Underground) and Mars Volta, to name a couple. He recently collaborated with Omar and Cedric, of M.V., for Cedric's solo album as well as for collaboration on a film score for a Mark Ruffalo movie featuring actors such as Juliette Lewis and Orlando Bloom. Whilst down in Guadalahara scoring the music D. was then asked to go ahead and be in the movie! So now he is headed out to LA for rehearsals to play himself, the drummer, alongside Juliette Lewis on bass.

'Sympathy For Delicious'

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1270277/

I hope the movie doesn't suck!

These Are A few of My Favorite Things... Chairs!

2009-01-13T20:46:00.000-08:00

OOOOOooooh! The 'Ghost chair'

THE MUMMY chair!

Now if there's a 'vampire' chair I'd like to see it but probably wouldn't want to sit on it...yeee-OUCH!

Mark of the Best

2009-01-12T13:17:00.000-08:00

I have a few non-noteworthy tattoos except that the biggest one i have you will never see and i got it in Japan when i was 17...is that note worthy? Anyway, if I were forced to mark myself up further this would be my girl...Amanda

http://funcitytattoo.com/index.php?option=com_g2bridge&view=gallery&Itemid=53&g2_itemId=1276

Music Video Alert 2!

2009-01-12T10:30:00.000-08:00

I have been a fan of Tim and Eric's comedy stylings for some time now. Why? Because it's silly, silly. Eric Wareheim makes music videos too, uh oh...

Havn't seen Dance Floor Dale yet?

WARNING! This video contains FLASHING LIGHTS!

htto://www.timanderic.com/2008/09/dancefloor-dale.html

The woman in this video looks like my people from my paternal Grandma's side, straight up.

Here are some stills to entice...

Here is another brilliant one that's been out for a minute. " Lady Pants! Chud Style!"

I don't know who animated it and too lazy to look into it. Prob same person who did that Snoop video. But I def recognize Eric's voice in it...and damn! I cannot find it anywhere now...oh well, it was funny. Lemme know if someone finds this again.Look closely you might see someone you know in this one

Take My adVICE ! Pick Me!

2009-01-06T14:42:00.000-08:00

I entered the Vice Mag DIY competition and had so much fun doing it. I did an interview with Telli from Ninjasonic at his job, about his job, taking pix and fingerprints for food stamp card carriers called "Say Gov't Cheese!" I also did my feature article on my recent foray into the world of dominatrixing for a night called, "Dom For A Day", "ok, for a night".
And because I'm a loveable asshole I took much pleasure in the Do's and Don'ts, especially the Dont's and the record reviews.
My point? Vote for my issue!! I neeed the money just like you except i want it more!!
It's called the 'Hard Times' issue

http://www.viceland.com/theblankissue

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things... Heels

2009-01-06T08:26:00.000-08:00

High, low, close , or open toe....you look good when you rock 'em soooo. Put them heels on girl, put them heels on lady,with your heeels you know you drive 'em crazy.

Got monster feet?...let it be known. For 29 U.S., these cheapos were my latest purchase from huh-huh, ha-ha-Hot Topic

All eyes on ME...feet.
Googly eyes have a habit of spilling over into everything and sticking. Since I like to feel watched over I think I'll google eye tile my whole fucking bathroom.

Toot Toot! Now arriving at the Form and Function Junction in Trashville!
Heels with a mufugn' bottle opener. Strip and sip, strip, strip, and sip

Music Video Alert 1! Basutbudet - Fett Med Soft!

2009-01-02T23:14:00.000-08:00

Here's a video featuring a couple of my Swedish friends like Jackie aka Mapei...when i came over and they showed this to me i almost peed myself. And Miss Malin! What? the rump shaking white girl, Jesus Christ!

Basutbudet - Fett Med Soft

Hot Nasty Dirty Text

2009-01-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

I want you to put your c=3 between my ( @ )( @ ) and then ~ ~~ c=3 all over them baby

Oh Blow Me

2009-01-01T19:06:00.000-08:00

I wrote this guy 2 messages on Myspace the other day 1st, to simply to tell him how fantastic i thought his blow-up doll jacket creations were and 2nd, after immediately sending his link to one of my best buds Jules ( www.BijulesNYC.com ) she exclaimed he had just friend requested her the day before...and all this was totally random, none of us have any connection other than my affinity for the particular blow up doll he uses as art as i had featured one in my 'Unabashed Photo Booth' myspace album and that he friend requested myyyy friend..so I proceeded to tell him of the odd coincidence. He never wrote back not even just to say 'thanks girl!' Maybe it's cuz my profile pic has my big boobs out like I'm using them to "bombard(ed) through the media and advertising with images of especially female nudity to stimulate consumerism." Well lemme tell ya Anders, it ain't working for me...can I buy one of those awesome things at a discount?
myspace.com/mama_anders_design

Here's his wordy explanation for his creations.

Autonomous artist Sander Reijgers provides sex objects with a whole new life: he uses blow-up dolls as artistic material. “I customize existing tracksuit tops with parts of the blow-up dolls – the head, the breasts, the vagina, the anus. These dolls are so ugly and vulgar that turning them into something beautiful has become a challenge for me. The doll is a means to convey something else.” “It's near-incomprehensible that people could have sex with something as ugly and lifeless as a blow-up doll. However much air you pump into it, it remains an object that can't reciprocate the feelings of lust. “The idea of doing something with blow-up dolls came to me after reading 'The Malady of Death' by Marguerite Duras. The main character of this novel is incapable of feelings for people, so he hires a woman hoping that sex with this woman will allow him to feel. I do the exact opposite with my work: I remove the sexual function of the dolls by turning them into a jacket or a bag. In this way, the doll can 'feel' by performing a normal day-to-day task, rather than through sex. “In daily life, we are bombarded through the media and advertising with images of especially female nudity to stimulate consumerism. I comment on this situation through my art, but with humour and without being too moralistic about it. In addition, it's a challenge for me to turn something empty and ugly like a sex doll into an esthetic object that can ellicit a positive response. “I like to operate in the grey area between art, design and fashion. The jackets are works of art, but you can wear them too. People aren't afraid to wear my jackets because my work isn't coarse or vulgar. My work isn't about shocking people or about sex for the sake of sex. To me, sex is a means to make esthetic, funny and multi-layered pieces. mama.anders@hotmail.com

Art Did!

2008-12-28T23:03:00.000-08:00

I made some art! I don't know what it is or what it's worth since i lost half my brain cells to the nail polish fumes...it's all nail polish...and some googley eyes. 92 X 143 cm. It's one in a series of 4. Anyone as kooky as this 'painting' wanna buy it? ; p

It's Called A 'Daddle' and It's Funny

2008-12-28T22:48:00.000-08:00

i wasn't searching 'dad' or 'saddle'...i have no idea how this happened upon mine eyes.

I love how the 'kid' just looks like a small version of the man and i especially like his added lines
for back rolls effect even though he is bent forward and they would be more appropriate in front..if at all.
And is he wearing a ladies terry cloth fashion turban?

Jizz Music

2008-12-27T21:47:00.000-08:00

In writing about my recent trip down to Sao Paulo to sing with a free jazz orchestra i am motivated to list my top 5 fav jazz albums from my past before I began my total repulsion for the entire style of music and anyone who dared to play it. This had something to do with my 4 year prison like sentence studying the broad spectrum that jazz spans in music school. I am shaking it off, but i still won't listen to it yet.

1. Lee Morgan, The Gigolo
This was my first good listening experience with jazz when i was 17. This is when I discovered that I could like it. Until then it had been some real corny crap and I had no idea.

2. Wayne Shorter, Speak No Evil
Titles such as 'Witch Hunt', 'Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum', and 'Dance Cadaverous' are enough to pull a girl like me in and want to listen. I spent time vocally memorizing these melodies and solos and writing lyrics to them.

3. John Coltrane, Coltrane Plays the Blues
An instant, first time listening, enthusiastic 'yes!' on this one. Easy to hear, simple, odd, and angular basslines. Yes!

4. Betty Carter, Feed the Fire
This is one of the only jazz vocal albums that still sounds like jazz to me. Betty's soulful and sagging notes drag you down to a lovely, dark, and moody place like an opium hit on a rainy afternoon.

5.Rosa Passos, Festa
I fell in love to this album. It will get you. You just have to hear it. All quality.

Will Smith For President OR "Brotha Can You Spare Some Change?"

2008-12-25T13:07:00.000-08:00

I got a lot of laughter in the time before the presidential elections as response to my query, "Do you think the mass amount of Will Smith hero movie roles within the past couple decades were propaganda and warm-up for the American public to coagulate in overwhelming acceptance over a jovial black man in a leadership position and for the Obama Presidency?" Naah, couldn't possibly be. It's just a funny question. We have the first black President in history of the U.S.....wheeee!...And just in time to save the day!!

The Men In My Past

2008-12-24T22:11:00.001-08:00

The Men in My Past

For my Christmas Vacation i'm way out in the California countryside at my Mom's ...ranch? A total life change for her to be out here. Due to the dramatic tax cuts she is now the proud owner and operator of a small ranch which includes 10 cows and 2 horses. This land has 2 wells and 2 natural springs and Im telling you when the sh*t fully hits the fan and Mad max and Orwell's nightmares becomes a reality you can find me out here. My Mom raises and eats her own grass fed free range cows and generally lives in solitude except for 2 dogs, a cat, tons of hummingbirds, the weekly visit form Step Dad, and, at times like this, when i come to visit. This Christmas is even more special because my Grossmutti is here as well. It has been many years since i or my mother have seen her so i know she is happy to have 3 generations here all at once.
Sitting down before dinner the other night i learned more about my family history from the 2 women. I already knew my mother was born in Berlin during the war and after my Grossmutti's Mother's place was bombed she literally hot stepped it, on foot with baby, to Switzerland and then finally settled in a small town outside of Vienna. i already knew that my Grossmutti's mother was this crazy artist and ended up raising my mother and her half brother in poverty. My mother used to have to beg for flour from neighbors just to make dumplings. As a result my Mother has little sympathy for poor people in this country and calls her dogs democrats, "always looking for a hand out". My great Grandmother, Paula, ended up living in this little town outside of Vienna on a little lane called Kirchengasse (literally meaning Church Lane) that only led to the church. My Mom said she had displayed in her window this huge painting of a nude modeled after my Mom framed with lights on it at night facing the street so that when people were coming to and from any church related function it was clearly seen. I once saw this painting when i visited some of my family in Australia...i remember i didn't exactly regard it as a masterpiece. How i have so many family in Australia is a whole other story.

So i knew a bit about the women in my past on my mom's side but not the men until now.
I learned that my Great, great Grandfather was the director of the Austrian national Bank and had a bad temper. If he didnt like the food that was cooked for him he would fly into a rage and throw the whole plate against the wall.*****
When my mom met her grandfather, My Grossmutti's father who worked in the ministry of justice and was a Justiz Inspektor, he was very creepy and without going into detail was even sexually suggestive toward my Mom. Creep!*****
And when my Mom met her father, who i've never met, she said he was shorter than my her and she was embarrassed when she met him for the first time at 25. She shook his hand as she said goodbye. By then he had another family with 3 daughters whom my Mother says were jealous of her. He was born and died in Lausanne, Switzerland and was at some point in his career signed some anti Jewish document and was subsequently barred from practicing law. He then then became a journalist.*****
My Grossmutti's brother, my mother's uncle of course, was long gone from Europe because when he was 9 and singing with the Viennese Boys Choir they toured Australia when the war broke out and they were taken as prisoners of was due to being their being Austrian and being from an opposing country. He was later adopted and grew up in Australia to get married and have 10 children by the same women (whew) all of whom had their own kids.
Ha, it's amazing that i know my own dad! But i do, and we have a great relationship.

Without blaming any one in particular, it's a shame that the men on my mom's side of the family were all MIA for the most part. There's just not that much to say about them. Also, war is so destructive that it effects not only the the people directly involved but their families and generations to come.

Dom For A Day (ok, for a night)

2008-12-21T17:11:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago i got a wild hair up my ass to give a little dominating a try. People close to me say i'd be a a natural and should definitely do it. I, on the other hand, am not so sure about that but there was only one way to find out. Plus, I need a job. I had an in through my manager's long time friend, who actually wrote a book on the subject, so i decided to take advantage of the opportunity. I met her on a Saturday and took a quick tour of the mid-town dungeon where she works. I was told i would be good for smothering and infantilism but should come in for training during the week to 'learn the ropes' so to speak and get involved in some corporal training so that my sessions don't become too sensual.

So wed. rolls around and i have my characteristically and entirely black outfit ready; black fishnet body suit, black super-corset, black patent leather platform heels, and black lacy push up bra. Due to all this get-up i look hot n scary. When i call the head mistress for me to come in she says it will be good because the could use a bodacious woman tonight. I stop in the W. Village to buy a black patent thong at one of the sex shops right off the stop. I also grab a shot of vodka. I head up 2 more stops to the dungeon and decidein the last minute that i should go into the restaurant across the street for another shot. I am nervous. i want to do well, i want to be convincing.*****
As i enter the dungeon I hear old time Christmas music seeping eerily through the house speakers into the dimly lit entrance area making my first moments in the dungeon all the more poignant and creepy. The colors around me are dark and royal shades of browns, blacks, reds, and golds. There is a generic attempt at an ominous Asian palace theme going on. I take a seat next to the head mistress at her large wooden desk and it already feels familiar. She has the same ash brown hair slicked tightly into a bun, make-up free face, and the same blazer i had seen her in before. She captures the part of the strict head mistress at some devilish all girls boarding school in some cult movie of the past. Her face hangs in big folds and she looks like she is in her early 40s. She is on the phone in a low growl. "Well", she coos menacingly, "I have to know more about you if I am going to meet you. no. no. That's not how it works, i will tell you how this is going to work". She pays me no mind for another 10 minutes or so while she is involved in this verbal tug of war with a potential new client. This pretty young Korean girl from the past Saturday is there again. She tells us if she is needed she will be in the 'classroom' where the computer with internet is located. This is also the room where the teacher/student classroom fantasies are acted out complete with a tall, black, pointy, leather dunce cap which rests comically on a stool. The head mistress tells me to walk around, get familiar with the rooms, check drawers and play with equipment so i wont "look like a fool". I stop by the classroom to chat with the Korean girl. She is really nice and well spoken and we talk about getting our photos done for the site and not having our faces showing. I tell her i am in a band that gets a little press so i don't want the added attention. Ha. She is 21 and I squeal about how young she is. I notice this girl is actually exceptionally attractive with a long slender build and a baby doll's face with full rounded cheeks and an infant sized pinch of flesh for a nose. We are on the classroom's computer wandering through myspace pages and talking. She tells me in her elegant accent that she has only been doing dom work for 3 months and just began at this dungeon on Saturday.
The day I met her she was wearing a black rubber corset and thong, cheap clumsy black heels, and was carrying a giant black dildo. She tells me at the last place she worked they were doing illegal hand jobs and she refused to do them, so she quit. She also says she has come in 3 days so far and is frustrated because she has had no customers and she also tells me that she has never done sub work. Later in the night her luck turns as a call for a sub comes through and the girl the client was supposed to get was m.i.a. for a brief but important moment. My new Korean friend eagerly and without hesitation decided to give sub work a try. She was tipped an extra $100 and seemed to find the session a breeze.
As i come back to the head misstress's deskshe asks me what i want my dom name to be...i say 'Vienna'..."oh too bad we already have a girl who's real name is Vienna."
"Berlin?" I say wincingly. "No, we already have a Berlin". Hmm..then i am at a loss. My cruel,exotic, mixed race, lady of the high Austrian court, chanteuse fantasy is out the window. I had some idea I would play a mixtape i made of some of my creepiest music and some particularly cold classical pieces and force my slaves to buy several copies at the end of each session so they could take it with them and savor the aftertaste in memory of our time together...and i could get more cash. I would've called it, "Mistress Vienna, 'Songs For My Slaves'. But like the the current economic state, that giant illusionary bubble burst.
At this point a beautiful and mean looking girl in long jet black hair, white skin, and red lipstick comes by asking loudly "Where else are you from then?" I say Texas. "Ohhh, we get a lot of Texas girls here," and without a beat, " What the fuck is this music, can someone change this shit?". This girl is gorgeously feline and so obviously a dom. Her dom name is Mistress Cassandra. Every movement she makes is with power and purpose...and anger. She cannot simply set something down, she drops it or slams it down. She is talking about her clients like the most stupid dogs she has ever met. I can't wait to go in on one, my curiosity is at it's peak.
It will be hours before i can go in, but not before 'Cassandra' brings out a slave for all to see. His name is "Nareem", a 24 year old, fat, Indian guy with a little penis. She has him completely naked except for a blindfold mask, a seran wrapped head, and a leash connected to his c*ck and b*lls. This image is a slap to the brain. I have no reaction except inner startled and confused laughter. She parades him around the desk area and asks me to find him a collar. Right next to me towering several feet above my head is the wall of all the SnM gear one would ever need. In this wall jumble of SnM paraphernalia I cannot decipher which is a collar. After a few seconds she snaps impatiently, "just find something that looks like a collar and hand it to me!"She reminds me instantly of a friend of mine. The strength and tone in her voice, the slow self assurance as she struts around. I feel my heart flutter in admiration. I feel a tiny jolt of joyous submissiveness myself in this moment and wonder when i should change into my dom gear.

Cassandra disappears into the back hallway into some unknown room, of which there are many including the medical room, the wrestling room, and the room that looks like a young ladies bedroom with a vanity full of make-up and perfumes and a closet stuffed with colorful and costumey dresses and shoes. It looks like a ladies room if that lady were a MAN sized lady since everything in there is actually sized to accomodate men who want to dress as women and role play.

I am back in one of the rooms familiarizing myself with all of the gear when Headmistress yells with excitement as i can hear her running, "come out here! Come out here!" As i trot out several of the mistresses are standing around in the hallway between that divides the rooms and are towering over Cassandra's slave who is naked on all fours. Cassandra is taking her bitch out for a walk since he likes public humiliation. He is not bad looking and has this silly sh*t eating grin on his face as Cassandra says, " I'm a big woman, hmm? I'm a giant woman and you are just a little man, innat right? Hmm?" She is laughing and chatting with us, then digs her heel into his shoulder forcing his chest to the floor, "get down slave". This little dog has been coming to her for 7 years. Cassandra exclaims with the first tone of relief i hear from her that the music is "muuuch better". It's hip hop.

I am dressed now and I know it makes an impression. My giant real boobs and tiny waist due to the corset are a surprise to the girls who didn't know what I had underneath my street clothes. The next session with Cassandra I am invited in, but "only after 10 minutes of warm up" 10 to 15 minutes go by and i am sitting on my hands in anticipation. I ask the head mistress if i can go in. She says "yes, go to the Sanctum, the room at the very end of the hallway and as you enter say, 'Mistress i am here, may I come in'. "
As i walk back down this long hallway it is like the first time. I am in full gear and I feel like I look. As I open the dungeon room door and round the stone inlaid corner my eyes are ambushed. I am now in Hellraiser. There is Cassandra, still as hot as a blue flame, in her skin tight black rubber dress and this smallish hairy man, the French man, bound and chained, shackled in all manners, including his head which is tied up in an intricate web of rope ending with a big knot for his mouth. Cassandra makes him lie down on the floor and steps on his chestwith her heel. He lets out a groan. "oh it just hurts soooo bad" She says in sneering mockery, "well the great thing about that is that I dont' care...do you Mistress Texas!?" "I don't give a F*CK'" I say firmly and coldly while inwardly patting myself on the back for a good start. She then tells me to come over there and step on his dick which is bound with his balls. "Use the front of your heel, not your back, and not on the balls" I step down putting moderate pressure on it. I have no way of judging how it feels to him and especially with his parts all tightly tied up. I also do a little heel work on the nipples. I find myself getting frustrated because this man is not getting an erection. But, I do remember the head mistress saying this is not always about sex and many guys will not get erect...this is about degredation, humiliation, and physical pain.
As the session is ending , Cassandra barks toward me, "So Mistress Texas before I let this little drippy dick go is there anything you would like to do to him? Any of your wildest sickest fantasies? hm? Maybe take his belt and strangle him?" I hadn't thought of that. I'm a bad dom. This guy is kind of small and I feel awkward. I don't have any desire to do any of this, but I'd try it if i knew they really wanted me too. I ask myself jokingly if that actually makes me a caring person. I have no answer for her and sit back on one of the stretching racks in resignation, and also because my heels are torturing ME. Cassandra then makes the french slave look into the mirror as she unropes his head saying, "take a good look at yourself now as I do this and see what a little dungeon freak you are!". They are chatting now like amicable friends that just met at a book club meeting. As the ropes fall away leaving impressions in his head, Cassandra tells him not to worry, that they will go away within an hour. I can imagine this guy walking thru mid town or taking a seat ont the subway in this condition and what people would think. The French is saying how when he sees a dom in Japan he has never come across head binding. "Well you gotta come to NY for the real thing" Cassandra says confidently. As they exit ahead of me the french looks back over his shoulder to make sure to say goodbye to me and it makes me feel better. I half heartedly and silently give him a limp salute.

I am a bit juiced now from my first session and Cassandra is loudly exclaiming "Yes! Im amped! I love it! Toture! Degradation!" She is hyped and well ready for another customer.

We ladies have gathered back around the Head Mistress's desk once again when I am told I need to throw away my gloves. In my excitement I had forgotten the latex gloves you are required to wear. Funny how I sometimes would put those on for shows or photoshoots without fully feeling the real world meaning they were conveying. It would never be assumed I was a medical doctor.

Another girl with waist length dreadlocks, I think Puerto Rican, as cute as a cartoon chipmunk and a little chubby, is another pro and everyone are asking me how I liked it. i told them it is obvious I am not a pro and i would like to see another session. As i look around i feel like i have been transported into a movie. The cast is actually better than any movie I have seen and far prettier, intelligent and more interesting, and real. "Vixen" struts in. She is back from last week but transformed from a regular looking girl into a bronze gladiator completed by her gold metallic bikini. When my manager's friend had brought me in initially she was enthusiastically insisting i would be great for wrestling but "Vixen" quickly intervened with the distinction that i would be good for "faaaantasy wrestling" and not the kind of wrestling that she does which is real and rough. By looking at vixen in her wrestling outfit i can completely see what she means...business. "Vixen" is one of the "guest" mistresses that has outgrown working for the dungeon and instead rents their wrestling room and brings in her own clients. Aside from wanting to feel a strong woman's thigh muscles wrap around and squeeze their bodies like a python would her prey the guys Vixen brings in also simply want to test their wrestling skills and do not hold back or submit until absolutely made to do so...and eventually they do, according to Vixen, because she is just that good. "Is there any kind if sex at all involved?" I had asked her. "Mmm, maybe they ask me if they can lick my asshole after, but always say 'hell no!' "
They are regaling now, several of the mistresses around the desk, about SnM client stories to try to scare me. They are telling me about the different types of guys who come in and what they want. The main type is the chubby to fat guy with the small penis who is very submissive. "These guys" the head mistress tells me flatly, "are so easy for me to spot now. I can see them out on the street and just know. This is also why there isnt much risk here with clients because first, they have to have the money and the membership and can't just walk in and 2nd because they are just so submissive they would never do anything to harm you. They only do what they are told." I am told by one of the girls that this type of guy also likes to be teased about their size and verbally degraded. You would speak to them like you were their girlfriend and say something to the effect of, "When you come home from work today you're gonna find me in the bedroom with 3 other guys with huge cocks fucking me like you never could and you will just have to watch." There are also the men who want submissve girls, the cross dressers, the 'sluts'. "What do you mean 'sluts'" I ask in surprise. "You know what a slut is, right?" asks the dread. "It's just like a girl who's a slut. That dirty low down cheap bitch that will suck the roadie's dick to get back stage...this is what they want to be. They want you to tell them how you will turn them out, make them ho for you and they will have to do all kinds of sexual things for other poeple like a prostitute." Wow. One dark black girl is telling me to just remember, "These guys ain't shit. Men are shit. You know that right? Men are just pieces of shit" and as if on cue another slave arrives outside at the door. We can see him from the monitor. This is some sort of house slave. He comes in, he does'nt pay, he only mills around the desk head hung low asking in a pathetic voice if there is anything he can do for any of the mistresses. Yes, the head misstress says, "Take out all of the trash. "Yes Mistress", he says softly. With head slunked downward in submission and his hands folded in the fig leaf position, he carefully steps off to find all of the trash. Throughout the rest of the night he returns periodically to ask if there is anything else he can do. No one speaks harshly to him, only in an exhausted tone as if just thinking of things for him to do is wearing them out. He seems more of a neusance then anything. He looks like a very simple person, but he is someone I cannot comprehend.

All of the requirements and training it would take for me to become an actual dominatrix tells me this is indeed work. They know knotting techniques to rival the Navy, you have to know just where to hit so as not to cause serious injury, and then you have to have an arsenal of verbally abusive things to say that will cover at least an hour. I am encouraged as a couple doms tell me that they think i'm being so hesitant now, but next week Ill be a pro. And i am a little intrigued still. I always wanted to be a professional actress, perhaps this is a role I could play for a few months and make some money. My best case scenerio fantasy is that i get some regular clients I am actually somewhat attracted to, some thick ones who don't want anything too severe who just want to worship me and bring me gifts and extra tips.
But more than likely i will have clients that will genuinely make me disgusted. But, i suppose that is all the better for my role. Like the last session, the kind of client you hear about. Aside from the chubby dudes with small penises that want to be humiliated about it, there are the ones who make so much money or are so on top of the corporate world and they need to be brought back down to Earth. This last guy was pushing 70, liver spots, and frail. When he moaned it sounded like death and there he was, stripped naked and chained to the wall. In this session I am in with the 2 pros of the night, so it is us 3. Apparently this old man will be getting the royal treatment more so than he paid for. They are teaching me how to use the flogger and telling me not to hit above the fleshy part of the ass so as not to get the kidneys. I keep missing. His ass is already red and welling in certain spots but I keep going because this is what he is paying for. This is what he wants. This is what he 'thinks' he wants. Cassandra moves him and chains him to the floor in a crucifixion pose. She is asking me whether we should untie his genitals so that he can masturbate. I tell him to "hurry and get hard because i am tired of looking at limp dicks". Hmpf, i think. i could be good at the verbal humilation, no problem. Because he is right handed I suggest that we then free his left hand to stroke himself. As he works for us I tease him as i notice his shackled right hand is twitching in sympathetic motion with his left. At this point i absolutely have to take off my heels, so i do, to Mistress Cassandra's displeasure. "oh no!" she says with sharp warning. "You are a mistress, your feet should NEVER touch the floor. That is for the slaves and all the slave slime, put those back on." LOL, she said 'slave slime'.
We finally free his other hand and he instantly makes himself hard and brings himself to ejaculation. With only a slight, almost undetectable, itch of disgust I feel relieved because i finally feel like i am doing the right thing by him.
I might want to try this again. I am curious still. It seems that every session has it's own unique elements including the element of surprise since you don't know who you will be getting as a client. I only hope that once i am alone in a room with one of these freaks i can take control and get the job done. i think about the potential it has to go somewhere very wrong. When the headmistress tells me i need to study that all i can, read about domination and tying techniques, and how to give an enema...wait! screeech! hold up. I am not a nurse and I am definitely not interested in body fluids. It is said you get an extra $100 tip for sub work, wrestling, and brown showers (think the 'other golden shower'). I chuckle thinking that something i do every day and try to get out of sight as fast possible could be so valuable. And what about the freak that came in the first day when I came to be introduced at the dungeon? This guy wanted 2 girls to go out and buy soft foods like bananas so that they could smash them into his face and force it down his throat. During this session the one red haired girl came out periodically to retrieve things she needed such as a dildo, these pads that are just like a diaper but lie flat to catch mess, and then finally she came out to find something for her clients nose because HE didnt want to smell his own vomit as he puked the food back up...she was given a clothes pin.
These girls are stars in my eyes. Superheroes, caretakers, and moneymakers. They are also just girls. In between clients they lounge around in sweats gossiping, smoking, or casually strewn on couches watching crap on Mtv. I can see the normal cattiness that lays under the surface of any gathering of people who are in a competitve money earning situation for this length of time. These girls sometimes have hours to sit through during a shift waiting on a potential customer and they often bring in their laundry to do on the premisis. Tips toward the head Mistress will help insure that you are a favored girl and are chatted up to anyone calling in.

A day after my night in the dungeon i went to do some recording at this Swedish guys place in the E. Village. I had arrived a little early, as i usually do, but he wasn't there yet so i went into the store next door. It just so happened to be a rubber n latex fetishists store. I found myself in particularly good company there since the only other person shopping with me with her flaming red hair was Patricia Field! This store had only a couple of seriously amazing dresses..but they are also seriously expensive so i just looked. They had a rack of fetish magazine's with covers of gorgeous models modeling rubber wear that included all manner of hoses and tubing attachments and made them look like some sort of SnM aliens. I don't see sex in these images. I have always found this world to be visually ultra tacky. It's not new to me as far the style goes but dealing with the actual issues these guys have one on one in these outfits is something completely different. It's not so much about sex but mental issues that inevitably get tangled up with sexuality because sexuality is the Queen Mother force that is so strong in humanity, and especially men, and most men are attracted to women, and most men are raised closely by women. My brain is ticking about how a man's mind can be warped by a woman from the beginning. I have a flashback to a story one of the doms was telling me when I asked her if there were any customers that she didnt like. She rolled her eyes and told me of one guy she refused to go in on that all the other girls loved to do because it was just like babysitting. You had to sit there in a room with this guy for 2 hours just trying to keep him from shredding and tearing his clothes off and generally he was just extremely annoying. His wife would send him there just to get him out of her hair.
And then later after i left the latex store to do my recording session the producer and i were chatting about me last nights adventures when he began to tell me a story of a man who's sexuality was shaped like this...Growing up in a strict Catholic household he never saw nudity or sexuality of any kind. His mother considered nudity shameful. The only nudes he ever saw were in the news in horrific and graphic war time images. This man developed his sexuality around this and even when he hears words such as 'terror' 'torture' or 'death' he is aroused. He is aware of this but he is hard wired.
After my recording session i walked over to my friends' store in the LoSide to have a little visit. The first thing i see in the back office is the cover of The new York Post with the headline "Star Manhattan lawyer Slain in SnM Love Triangle" with this beautiful girl in a pink and black rubber dress.

Apparantly one of NY's finest doms had this client/ stalker who had come to her home and murdered her boyfriend the lawyer. These occurances immediately following my night at the dungeon made a mark in my mind. Were these signs? Signs of what? 'Stop!', 'Wrong Way!', or 'Slooow', 'Proceed With Caution'...
eh. U Turn.
...Unless of course i can get a few dream customers. This is a call to any of the global corporate elite, unethical banker/ politicians, greedy, corrupt, money sucking pigs who cannot bare the weight of their guilt any longer. I will, for a nominal fee, dress in my black Sunday best and bring you right back down to earth with a quickness you have never known. And yes, i will beat you so senseless that you may never have the burden of feeling a thing again.
Call me ; )

My Step Dad's hobby

2007-06-02T07:08:00.001-07:00

My Step Dad's hobby
Current mood: impressed

http://www.darkhorizons.org/

Since my step Dad started astro-imaging he has been asked to lecture colleges, given money by a publishing house and asked to write a book, published photos with the Smithsonian, and latest...interviewed and featured on Yahoo. And that's just his latest hobby, not even his main gig! Go Step-Dad! The man is a machine.

How Quickly Things Go South!..by south west

2007-06-02T07:04:00.000-07:00

How quickly things go South (XSW) (boring details now included!)
Current mood: determined

no one reads my blogs really so i feel pretty free to keep my online journal here.
In Tejas, yee haw. Good to see family. 2 shows last night. trashed the backstage of the 2nd "show", broken bottles n glasses, ripped curtains. Was I really that upset? Didin't seem like me...but the whole band was upset so I was not alone. Didnt feel like controlling it this time. The details are boring...but I hid behind a couch cushion while someone came in and snapped away...hope it wasn't for evidence or something. Damn, feel bad that someone else cleaned that up. I have almost everything I need...but something's missing. Oh well...moving on.

Fuck that, here are some details just so's ya know I'm not some tantrum throwing baby. trashing things is not my style. I don't fold so easily, but sometimes enough is enough. we flew all the way down here to play this bullshit show with acts we love personally but have absolutely nothing to do with and we are sick of being put in these wack situations. The club, Club 115, doesn't even exsist during the year, only for SXSW, so I am not even sure they know how to deal with certain issues that come up with live bands. There were like 10 people working there and they could hardly move a finger to make shit happen. D had to take care of eveything. I am sick of seeing one of the best drummers and nicest people in the whole fucking world being treated like a sucker. We needed one fucking cable and this team of Sherlock Homos couldn't find it...with out it, no show...D finally found it somewhere backstage...why no one else could find it is baffling. Took these muthers way too long to set up some bass and drums. then they couldn't get the mic to work...ok, so we can play but I can't sing...cool. Then they holler..."You have 4 minutes to play! We have to close!" So we still go up cuz if you don't know by now, we don't quit...D and Nick play the most slamming thing SX never heard and I bent over the bass drum and shook my ass at 'em for about 10 seconds before going offstage and '!KUNG!" banging my head on their low positioned door frame. Backstage, D threw a glass full of straws and I guess it gave me the greenlight to go apeshit. I threw anvil cases, smashed anything that would break, hurt the wall, and ripped down their curtains...a measly $200 fine was worth something that felt so right, sorry. Got offered three other gigs for today that would actually make sense but we couldn't take them because we can't afford to change the damn plane tix....excuse me now i have to go smash some things. What can I say?..I have passion

2007...International Rumi Year

2007-06-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

Friday, May 18, 2007

2007...International Rumi Year

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jalal_ad-Din_Muhammad_Rumi

Was asked to read a grip of Rumi's poems to my friend's soundtrack music. This was the first time reading him. Unbeknownst to either of us, this is his year.

Tonight I went to The Box. It was debaucherous, there were knives, blood, man on fire, whips, chains, attempt at limp dick copulation, all in the name of love (or a lack thereof) and sex....quite anticlimactic.

International Rumi Year

Iranian musician Shahram Nazeri was awarded Légion d'honneur and Iran's House of Music Award for his renowned works on Rumi masterpieces.
Upon a proposal by Culture and Tourism Ministry of Turkey, the year 2007 was declared as the "International Rumi Year" by UNESCO in March 2006. This is intended for the commemoration of Rumi's 800th birthday anniversary and will be celebrated all over the world.[32] On this occasion Iranian musician Shahram Nazeri was awarded Légion d'honneur and Iran's House of Music Award for his renowned works on Rumi masterpieces.[33] 2006 was declared as the "International Mozart Year" by UNESCO.
(United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization ...)

Do You Have A Better Answer?
Tme to get rid of the doctor....

To Love is to reach God.
Never will a Lover's chest
feel any sorrow.
Never will a Lover's robe
be touched by mortals.
Never will a Lover's body
be found buried in the earth.
To Love is to reach God.
To heal the burning of your sorrow,
I seek a flame.
To gather the dust of your door,
I seek the palms of my hands.
To deal with you hiding behind your holiness,
I seek a good time instead.
It is your turn now,
you waited, you were patient.
The time has come,
for us to polish you.
We will transform your inner pearl
into a house of fire.
You're a gold mine.
Did you know that,
hidden in the dirt of the earth?
It is your turn now,
to be placed in fire.
Let us cremate your impurities.
The Lovers
will drink wine night and day.
They will drink until they can
tear away the veils of intellect and
melt away the layers of shame and modesty.
When in Love,
body, mind, heart and soul don't even exist.
Become this,
fall in Love,
and you will not be separated again.
Love rests on no foundation.
It is an endless ocean,
with no beginning or end.
Imagine,
a suspended ocean,
riding on a cushion of ancient secrets.
All souls have drowned in it,
and now dwell there.
One drop of that ocean is hope,
and the rest is fear.
We are all powerless by Love's game.
How can you expect us
to behave and act modest?
How can you expect us
to stay at home, like good little boys?
How can you expect us
to enjoy being chained like mad men?
Oh, my Beloved, you will find us every night,
on your street,
with our eyes glued to your window,
waiting for a glimpse of your radiant face.
I swallowed
some of the Beloved's sweet wine,
and now I am ill.
My body aches,
my fever is high.
They called in the Doctor and he said,
drink this tea!
Ok, time to drink this tea.
Take these pills!
Ok, time to take these pills.
The Doctor said,
get rid of the sweet wine of his lips!
Ok, time to get rid of the doctor.