Gaga did have the momentary idea to bring me out on stage during a song for some Prince type showmanship with her Keytar, but now I hear Shmeeans, the guitarist, will cover that dressed as an SnM bear type thing with a leather mask and such. Have fun Shmeeans, I know Ill have fun watching you. ; )
I am sad but those who know me know this was not meant to be, even though I thought it was. I am not a road dog, Im an artist, but I was willing to tow the line for the sake of giving everyone a behind the scenes glimpse, drawing attention to myself and my projects, and escaping New York for a little while and oh yes, I would've definitely put that money to good use as well. Ha.. But after finding out we would be behind screens and not seen...who the fuck cares!? You can't bring all this on tour and waste it like that. And therein lies the problem. This isnt MY tour. I am glad to have gotten to see behind the scenes (and the screens), meet some great people, and see how things work on a major pop level from very close up. If you ever want to know how people blow up so seemingly fast...I can tell you. A lot goes into it.
It is ironic that out of anyone I was most committed to this tour for personal reasons and not simply for having a job.
For those going to the show, you will not be disappointed. It's an Alexander McQueen teen dream come true.
I only wish I could've gotten to know Gaga better, or her me. I feel like we would've had a blast on the road during downtime. Another time doll!
For the real dirt, I did however keep a detailed daily diary of my time in LA in the Gaga camp. In it is a quote from one of the roadies, "You are never hired until you are done with the first show". People always say not to talk about things until they happen, but I always put it out there....you know me, you know that. My life is a human life and there's no point in hiding that.
I can now refocus on my own projects, confirm the tour I wouldv'e had to cancel where I will actually be seen and be singing for, the much lesser known, Telepopmusik, promoting their new album with songs on it which I wrote and performed. And after all, Jeff, the one who hired me, wants us to continue to work together writing pop music for this bloated industry. Beyond the things that got miffed up due to going on/off tour, like the dance performance I worked for, auditioned for, and was accepted for but could never finish rehearsals for, or the fact that Im subletting an apartment I could now use, or now missing out on the 3 day Vancouver stay where my aged Grandmother lives whom I haven't seen in years, there are many more silver linings to finally not going on the road.
Never before has fame meant so little. : /
Ultimately what this whole thing turned out to be was me gettin' paid to chill in a sick suite for 10 days, all food taken care of, hang out with a few sexy motherfukrs I will now put in my back pocket til I can 'play' with them again, free flight to see my Mom and Step-Dad just in time for the holidays, got to reconnect with some LA friends and industry folk I rarely see which led to me writing another hit, chillin' at Kelis's crib, and getting a close up view of a crazy OTT show before everyone else.
I wish everyone in the crew a great tour. I know it is hard to be away from your kids, pets, and families for so long and my thoughts will be with you.
Love you Charles! Love you Shmeeans! Love you Cooz! Love you Henry! Love you Pawel! Love you Chris! Love you Gaga!
If this be my brief stint in the Land of Oz, then to Eric and Bobby (Go Roadies! Go Hair Farmers!), "I think Im going to miss you most of all". Ha, I know you guys will make the most of it. I'll be there with you in spirit. It might've been trouble had I stayed ; )
Finally, during the first song of the show when the track comes down low and Gaga shouts out, "Marilyn... Judy... SYLVIA! Tell 'Em how you feel girls!" Every night, remember me, stage left, top tier, behind the screen, if you look real close you can see me "Dance In The Dark". Cuz "Im a free bitch baby!" -- Gaga (ya ya, me me too too)
And with that, Im glad Im over here on the West Coast already and my Mom's farm is just 3 heel clicks away cuz at times like these... "There's no place like home".
UPDATE: Bobby (the sexy roadie) fell very ill and had to leave the tour, a couple others dropped off including the music director (he's really busy). So now they have a new music director that I dont know and he hired a bassist. Have fun.
YET ANOTHER UPDATE: Gaga retooling everything again...sent out emails to audition a whole other band and additional singers. Whahahaaaa, I don't have time to audition this go round. woo ha.
Pop is wack.
wamp.
